I came across a blog a few days ago that has struck me at my core. It's written by a woman named Ashlee who, three years ago, found out her husband was having an affair only after he was murdered by his mistress's husband. In one night her world, and the world of her five young children, was shattered. I read about her story on a separate blog and just couldn't believe that could happen to someone. Especially a young Mormon couple who had been married in the temple only seven years (I believe) earlier.
In January she just started writing down her story on this blog and it has attracted quite a lot of attention.
Here's the thing I love about her writing. While 99.9999% of the population have no idea of what it's like to go through something like she did, she always relates her posts back to what we can all do to be better people. She has this way of saying that even though your circumstance isn't hers, you can still learn to forgive for small things, you need to pay more attention to your children, say "I love you", use your spiritual gifts, thank those around you etc. Every post ends with an uplifting thought of how we can make our own lives better. On more than one occasion I have read something that I just needed to read. It's given me much to think about and a starting point for setting goals for myself and my relationship with my own husband.
Another thing that I'm absolutely amazed by is her ability to remember all the good times with her husband. She has every right to hate his guts for the decisions he was making. And yet, she acknowledges that that's what they were. They were decisions and they were bad ones, but he was a good person. In almost every post she recounts stories from their past...how they met, their wedding day, when children were born. She doesn't let the end of his life change the way she will remember him. Now, she talks about the grief and pain and anger she felt about what his actions put their family though, but she still tells her kids about how great their dad was and how much she misses him. It's beautiful.
I don't know how exactly the next life will work. I don't know how his actions will have an effect on the eternal covenants they made in the temple. But I wouldn't be surprised if her love and support of him is enough to carry both of them into eternal happiness. I just can't describe how inspiring it is to read about someone who is learning to forgive a spouse who has done the unthinkable. I hope that one day, when I make a mistake, or when Nate does, we will both have the courage to stand up for each other and stick by one another no matter what. Because that's what we promised each other we would do. No matter what.
In today's world, people get divorced left and right. Things don't go smooth so they end. Well, I can tell you, even six months of marriage hasn't been perfect for us. I'm not sure if the first week was perfect! As much as I love my husband we will both make plenty of mistakes and let our weaknesses show. I just want to be strong enough to say that they don't matter.
I am thankful that I ran across this blog because it has given me so much to think about and will continue to provide insight to me on how to be a better person, wife, and one day mother.
The blog is
The Moments We Stand and I would encourage anyone and everyone to take a minute (or a couple of hours...) to read. It's best, in my opinion, to start from the first posts and read them in order because she is writing her story in chronological order.
